Nichole Nordeman: Name (Lyric Video)

I have been in a long winter season, but maybe it's time to resurrect this blog once again...

Nothing Without You (feat. Will Reagan)

Music has a way of drawing out of our hearts the deep resonating groans and murmurings within that often elude us, and at times can even put words to these seemingly intangible heart rumblings. This song has done just this and these are the words to my own groans from within. 

 This world feels so vast and untameable
 It's like I am treading neverending in water

Oh Lord, what am I to do?

I long for You Lord
To feel the nearness of Your presence

Oh Lord, I feel lost and discouraged. 

But, even if everything and everyone around me should fail me - 

There is one thing that I know for sure

You, oh Lord are faithful and true.

a new year: engagement

With the passing of the New Year (both Calendar and Chinese), I can't help but to wonder what this coming year may have in store. So far, a lot has happened. The biggest news this year is that I am engaged to a wonderful woman I met last year while in Australia. I proposed to her here in Taiwan. I took her to Kenting, which is one of the most beautiful places in Taiwan. I spent a couple weeks planning the trip. This meant driving down with a friend who knew the area. He showed me the good scenic lookouts, beaches, restaurants and helped me book a hotel. I needed to get a reasonably priced hotel because I needed to book two separate rooms (one for her and one for me). So, I ended up booking two rooms at a "Minzu" which is like a little boutique hotel. The funny thing is, I booked  the nicer suite for her with a nice view while I booked a room down the hall from hers without a view which was half as much. I figured we would spend most of the time talking in her room on the balcony and at the end of the night I would go back to my room which worked out well. 

So onto the night of the proposal. I had a couple options running through my mind which were contingent on the weather. It looked like it might rain or be a but cooler, so I was preparing for this. But, thankfully there was no rain and the temperature was alright. It did end up being a bit windy though. I told her I wanted to dress up a little and go out for dinner. But, before heading out I brought her flowers that I secretly bought earlier in the day and hid in the trunk of the car. Needless to say, she was totally surprised! White flowers are her favorite, specifically lilies which is what I brought. Score!

Next, we went to "Smokey Joe's" which is a Tex-Mex type of restaurant. It was nice, I asked the hostess seat us away from people so that we could have some privacy. At this point, I think she knew that I may propose to her (and afterwards she said that she thought I would propose to her in the restaurant), but as I have kidded with her over the previous weeks: "she will not know the time nor the place that I will propose, but it will happen." So needless to say, it wasn't ever in my plan to propose to her in the restaurant. After dinner, we drove to a little beach area down the street and ended up sitting on a blanket while looking at the surf and stars. 
It was a very romantic moment and this is when I popped the question. While we were holding each other I pulled out the ring and asked her in Chinese: 你願意嫁給我嗎？which is "Will you marry me?" She said "yes!" But this special moment didn't last too long because the wind really picked up and started blowing sand everywhere, so we decided to head back to the hotel. This is where we took some more traditional photos of me on my knee. After spending some time talking on the balcony, we said our goodnights and I headed back to my room. All in all, the night was quietly romantic. No big fanfare, just me and her spending a very special moment together. We spent the next day at a white sand beach where we were the only ones on the beach for a couple hours. It was a sweet first moment together as an engaged couple. God truly blessed us throughout the trip. He made it a very, very special time for us. One that will be an endearing keepsake we will both remember for the rest of our lives. We truly are feeling blessed by God to be in each other's lives.
There is a amazing future waiting for us and we are excited to walk into everything God has planned for us as a married couple. But, as my fiance prayed for us just tonight was that we would always be a Presence driven couple that consciously makes room for Jesus to lead and guide us by showing hospitality to the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives and marriage. Now I don't say this naively like we are going to live some fairy tale life where there will be no trials, testings or trouble. No, I say this understanding that all of these will come but I say this from a place of faith, believing that no matter what happens Jesus will be with us releasing love, grace and faith to us as we go through whatever trials, testings or even trouble that may come our way. This is God's promise to us: that He will never leave us nor forsake us, but will be with us always even to the end of this age.
 Jesus gave up everything to make sure that there is no space, no gap between us and Him. Jesus sacrificed everything so that we could be close to Him. Not close in the sense of being next to Him, but so close that we are literally in Him and He is literally in us. That's why He sent the Holy Spirit to dwell within everyone of His followers. I can't tell you how excited we both are to spend the rest of our lives together with Jesus. If you know anything about either of us, you would know that it's a miracle that we are even together. We have both been through quite a lot journeying through this life, but those stories are for another time. 
There's a very special song that has deep meaning for both of us called "Bless the Broken Road" by Selah. You see, we have both spent our fair share of time searching for true love, but ended up only finding heartache and heartbreak. It's only after we found the perfect love of God that our journey ended and a new one began. A journey that has brought us into the very heart of God which is not only where we have found each other but also so much more. Do you think it's time for your current journey to end and for a new one to start?

Jesus Culture (feat. Melissa How): Oh Lord You're Beautiful

What has been burning on my heart lately is letting my service to Jesus come from the overflow of worship to Him because when it does my service comes from a place of love and adoration towards Jesus. I don't know about you, but when I'm serving from a place of love, the burden of service lessens. The reason this song has so captured my heart is because it helps me refocus my gaze back onto the beauty and majesty of my Beloved Jesus. It helps remind me that, "yes He is with me and that His gaze is upon me and that He is extending me His grace." My favorite line of this song is "For my reward is giving glory to You" because it reminds me that my life is not about me striving to make some name for myself here on earth, but about living a life that expresses my gratitude towards Jesus for giving me an eternally new life in Him and giving Him the glory He deserves because of this.

Phillips, Craig & Dean: YOU ARE MY KING

This is one of my all time favorite worship songs. If there is one image of Jesus that I am completely drawn to, it's Jesus as King. For me this speaks of His majesty and authority, but also His grace and understanding. I love kneeling before King Jesus because He has earned all of my love and devotion for what He has done for us by taking on the full weight of God's wrath for sin in our place. Such amazing love! If you are a follower of Jesus than you are also His servant. This means that as servants of King Jesus we are also His ambassadors here on this earth (2 Corinthians 5:20). And as His ambassadors, Jesus has bestowed upon us the power of His authority. So, when we speak, we speak with the full weight and power of Jesus Himself. This is what it means to be ambassadors of King Jesus, but we must always remember to exercise this authority in love. In this way we honor Jesus our King as His ambassadors here on earth. 

Sarah Sadler: how deep the Father's love for us

I've been really thinking and meditating this past week on the Father's love for all His children. It truly is so amazing how deep His love is for us. I mean what drew me to God in the first place was His unconditional love for me. I don't mention this too often, but some of the first words I ever heard from God was that He loved me and that He would never leave me. I was floored that even as a hopeless drug addict and manipulative drug dealer, God still loved me and wanted me to be near Him. I can still remember when God's Kingdom came near to me and I became aware of my sin and shame. When this happened an interesting thing happened as well, God heightened my sense of smell. It was like I could smell the stench of sin, both on myself and others. 

The reason I bring this up is that even through the stench of my decaying sin-filled soul God still wanted me close to Him. There's a verse in the bible that is very real to me which says "But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners" (Romans 5:8 NLT). Imagine the sin of the world as a giant garbage dump and Jesus as this pure, spotless and holy Being who steps down out of Heaven into the middle of this giant stinking rotten pile of crap and refuse. When the bible talks about Jesus taking on the sins of the world, this is the picture we should have in our minds. For me, this verse says that even when my soul stunk like a garbage dump God still sent His Son to wade into the garbage dump of my life in order to save me. That's how deep the Father's love is for us. 

HILLSONG: one desire

This is my heart's cry. Not only do I want to be with Jesus in Heaven after I leave this earth, but I also want to be with Him as I live and breath in this world. I want to be where He is healing, saving, redeeming and restoring all the lost children of God. You see, Jesus did all of these things with me, He has healed and continues to heal me physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. He has also delivered me from a life of addictions and is even now redeeming the lost years of my past as He restores my broken life. If you ask me why I do the things that I do, I would tell you that it is the love of Jesus that compels me to live the life that I do. I have been so touched by the love of God and His love has forever changed me. I was once lost in a lust-filled angry selfish world, but now I am found in the love, joy and peace of Heaven. 

So this is my prayer: I pray that the God of the universe would touch your life with His love, joy and peace, that He would release the hope of the Gospel of Jesus Christ into your life, that His Kingdom of light would break through the darkness that clouds your life and that He would bring healing to your heart. In Jesus Name, Amen. 

Cece Winans: alabaster box

A reoccurring prophetic word that I have gotten from the Lord for numerous people has been the image of an alabaster jar inside people's hearts being broken open. Sometimes their hearts are literally shaped like an alabaster jar. Now inside these alabaster jars is always the fragrance of worship and devotion, inside is the freedom to worship and love Jesus without shame or restraint. Many times when I share this with the people I am praying for, they confirm that they feel stuck, dry, even constrained in their hearts. 

But, just as the very presence of Jesus undid the woman in Bethany setting her free to worship and adore Him without caring who was around (Matthew 26:6-12; Mark 14:1-11; Luke 7:36-50), so the Lord's desire for these people was to increase His presence in their lives, breaking open the alabaster jar within their hearts and setting them free to worship and adore Him without restraint. Allowing the fragrance of worship and devotion to flow freely from their hearts in greater and greater measure. 

So this is my prayer: Lord, there are so many people who feel locked down in their hearts, unable to offer You the worship and devotion that they know You deserve. So, I pray Lord that You would increase Your presence in their lives, breaking open the alabaster jar within their hearts and setting them free to worship and adore You with wild abandon. Where the fragrance of worship and devotion will continually surround them and even be released into the atmosphere wherever they go. In Your Name Jesus, Amen.  

Rita Springer: in this forever

I ran across this song this morning as I was scrolling through my Facebook News Feed (Rita Springer's artist Facebook page is one of the many pages that I like). It's from her latest live album with the same title. Hearing this song was a good reminder that following Jesus is forever. It's true. When I read through the Scriptures I am confronted with the heavy weight of eternity. The salvation of our souls did not come at an easy price. No, the redemption of all creation caused Jesus unimaginable suffering, not to mention His very life.

I heard this preached and it has forever changed the way that I view Jesus' sacrifice on the Cross. The preacher said, "Now, I can't say for certain that Jesus suffered more physical and emotional pain than any other person ever suffered when He was crucified on a cross, but what I do know is that Jesus was the only person who ever suffered the full weight of God's wrath for sin." That my friends is unimaginable suffering and is the heavy weight of eternity that Jesus bore so that we could be with Him in eternal paradise.

Jesus is in this forever and we are to have His same attitude. There was no turning back for Jesus. He knew this the very moment He decided to step down out of Heaven: "You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross" (Philippians 2:5-8 NLT).

Following Jesus isn't always going to be easy. But I believe, if our hearts remain tender towards God, then the longer we follow Jesus, the more we will feel the heavy weight of eternity that He has placed upon our shoulders.The burden to preach the Good News to a broken, hurting and dying world while caring for the sick, the poor, the imprisoned, the fatherless, the widow, the orphan, the lost and the hopelessly addicted. And this burden will far out weigh whatever trial may come our way as we make our way through this fallen world. But, this will mean truly deciding with all that you are (mind, heart and will) that no matter the cost, you are in this with Jesus forever.

So this is my prayer: "Lord Jesus, Your sacrifice on a Cross for sin earned you the praise and worship of all creation. Thank You Lord for bearing the full weight of God's wrath for sin and taking upon Yourself my punishment. Truly, I am healed, saved, redeemed and restored in You. Holy Spirit transform me and place within me the fortitude to stand for Jesus no matter the cost. I proclaim today in this moment that I am in this with You Jesus forever and ever. In Your Name Jesus, Amen."

Hillsong United: search my heart

Everyday I am confronted with the reality of a fallen world that is constantly trying to distract me from walking with Jesus. Each and everyday I come to mini-crossroads where I can either choose to follow Jesus and submit to God's ways or I can choose to follow my own understanding that has been largely influenced by the world's ways. I believe that at all times, there lies before a person two kinds of paths: 1) paths which have been set in place by the world and its standards and 2) paths that have been established by God. The bible verse that comes to mind is one of the very first scriptures that I ever memorized and says: "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight" (Proverbs 3:5, 6 NIV 2011).

The longer I walk with Jesus, the more I am confronted with the reality that the ways of the world are consistently in opposition to the ways of God. When I read about Jesus' life in the Gospels, what I see is a life lived in passionate reverence and faith towards God. A life birthed out of a love relationship with God that was founded on respect and intimacy. Jesus knew of and experienced the Father's unconditional love and responded with His own unconditional love in return. I long to walk with God as Jesus did when He lived among us on earth, but this means continually submitting myself to the spiritual surgery of the Holy Spirit in purifying my heart of its desire to walk in the ways of the world, rather than in God's ways.

So this is my heart's cry and prayer: Father in Heaven, "search my heart and search my soul. There is nothing else that I want more. Shine Your light and show Your face. In my life, Lord have Your way. Hear my cry and hear my prayer. Draw me close, so I know You're near. Give me strength and give me grace to walk with You Lord, all my days" In Jesus Name, Amen.

Lindsey Kane: HE KNOWS

This is such a timely song for me because since coming back from Tanzania I've been feeling a bit disconnected. Now I know that this is natural in transitioning back Stateside, but on a heart level this disconnectedness has gotten me in touch with a deeper sense of loneliness that's always been within my heart. My sense is that this revelation is not a coincidence but purposeful by the Lord so that He can bring healing to the pain and burden of this loneliness that finds comfort in isolation, rather than in community. 

Just the other day I heard these words in my spirit "I know your pain." Then the Holy Spirit flashed in my mind pictures of Jesus praying in the garden of Gethsemane and the great anguish and loneliness He felt  in having to face the coming trial of the Cross (Matthew 26:36-45). He truly knows the deep pain of loneliness because He's been there. In that moment, He felt utterly alone, but rather than isolating Himself He sought the fellowship of both the Father (vv. 39, 42, 44) and the other disciples (vv. 40, 45).

This has moved me to begin asking the Lord to help me to remain faithful through this coming season as He pulls me from this loneliness and not isolate myself or seek after less than healthy or pure avenues to self-medicate this loneliness. But, to seek the comfort of the Father and the fellowship of the Body of Christ. Somehow I feel like I'm probably not the only one who feels this way. So this is my prayer: "Help us Lord, to find comfort in the fact that You know the pain of our loneliness and that we can trust that You will lead us out of this loneliness and into the comfort and joy of fellowship, both with the Father and others, as You bring healing to our brokenness. In Your Name Jesus, we pray amen."

Jeremy Riddle: full attention

There is so much in this world that vies to steal my attention away from Jesus. That's why I am so grateful for the Spirit of the Lord who dwells within me because He is greater than the world and can preserve me from and empower me to resist the world's downward pull. Here's a quote from Dr. Ed Murphy from His book, The Handbook of Spiritual Warfare: Revised & Updated, "The Spirit of God, even when He is the Spirit of conviction of sin, is always the Spirit who lets us know we belong to God and His Kingdom...He builds up. He encourages. He blesses. He enlighens. He makes Jesus more and more previous to us. He empowers us to the defeat of the flesh, the world, and Satan and his demons. It is he and he alone who cries within us,'Abba! Father!"

So this is my prayer: Lord, "May Your voice be louder, may Your voice be clearer than all the others. May Your face be dearer, may Your words be sweeter than all the others in my life. May Your presence be truer, may Your presence be nearer than all the others & may Your light shine brighter, may Your love move deeper than all the others in my life. Please keep my eyes fixed on You, please root my heart so deep in You, keep me abiding that I might bear fruit" In Your Name Jesus, Amen.

Vineyard UK: come to me

This song seems fitting for the days I've walked around the village of Mlangali in Tanzania, Africa visiting families in their homes. At every turn I was confronted by poverty and sickness, people living in less then acceptable shelters while suffering with various insufferable health issues. I met a man today working his farm with what seemed like a fractured leg, a woman with a persistent cough, another man with severe back pain, many children coughing with runny noses and others with various sores and painful ailments. At one point, a woman came looking for me (and my translator) as she must have heard that I was visiting and praying for people. She asked for prayer for her husband whom she said literally lost his mind one day and gave away everything the family owned leaving them in poverty with nothing.

It’s painfully obvious that the kingdom of darkness is actively at work in oppressing people and stealing their hope for a future. The reality of Jesus’ words couldn’t ring truer, “The thief [devil] comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10 ESV). God is life and He desires to bless people with an abundant life. Throughout the day, I was reminded by Holy Spirit that God cares for every aspect of each and every person. He cares about their physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual needs. At each home I was overwhelmed with great compassion for the family, Christ’s compassion, and as I was talking with them about their lives all my heart wanted to do was pray that God would intervene in their lives and restore all that the devil has stolen, killed and destroyed. Thankfully, I had an opportunity to pray for just about every family I visited. Praise the Lord!

Selah: Light of the stable (performed by Orchard Hill Church worship team)

This song is becoming by far my favorite Christmas song, ever. I love it because it captures the reality of who Jesus is: He is a King worthy of all creation's praises! Even as a little newborn baby, He is still the King of Kings (Revelation 19:16), who is worthy of our praises! "Hail, hail to the newborn King." Not only this, but Jesus is and always will be "the Light of the World and whoever follows Him will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life" (John 8:12). Take a minute to really let this Truth settle into you. Jesus' presence in our lives drives back the darkness that continually tries to pull us down into the pits of despair and hopelessness. Now that's Good News! "Hail, hail to the guiding Light. That brought us tonight to our Savior! Halle, hallelujah! Halle, hallelujah!" Merry Christmas!

Sara Groves: when the saints

This song is a good reminder that when we read through the book of Acts in the bible, we should be asking ourselves: "Where in the world can I be doing what the disciples were doing?" Now, on the surface, the world today may look very different from what it looked like 2000 years ago. But, the sad reality of sin and our fallenness is that no matter what era that we live in there will always be people using and abusing other people. Though we have advanced greatly through technology, greed, lust and hatred still remains which means that there will always be a need for followers of Jesus to be engaging redemptively with the world from an eternal perspective with the Gospel.

"I see the long quiet walk along the Underground Railroad. I see the slave awakening to the value of her soul. I see the young missionary and the angry spear. I see his family returning with no trace of fear. I see the long hard shadows of Calcutta nights. I see the sister standing by the dying man's side. I see the young girl huddled on the brothel floor. I see the man with a passion come and kicking down the door. I see the man of sorrows and his long troubled road. I see the world on his shoulders and my easy load..."

Mercy Me: spoken for

This song is in many ways my heart's cry for all people, but specifically for those who struggle with drug and alcohol addiction because they are the ones who are being destroyed by their all-consuming desire for the things of this world (drugs and alcohol) at such an alarming and tragic rate. Whenever I see someone caught in such bondage to their lust for the world, the Spirit of God moves my heart to begin praying that Jesus would set them free into His eternal Kingdom of grace and freedom where they are covered by Divine Love, where God puts His hand upon their life and says to the devil, "No more! This one is mine!" and where their hearts are completely spoken for: sold out for Jesus.

Hillsong United (Brooke Fraser): SOON

I long to see Jesus, to see Him in all of His majesty, to see the Savior who gave His life, so that I could live, to see my friend and King who shares all eternity with me. I long to see Jesus, to see Him in all of His beauty, to see Him who is Love and Truth, to see the Shepherd who has guided and cared for me through this life. I long to see Jesus, to finally see Him face to face.

Rita Springer: fragrant offering

This song reminds me of the Gospel story where a woman anoints Jesus with expensive perfume (Mark 14:3-9). What moves me in the narrative is both the woman's passion to boldly bless Jesus regardless of who was around and Jesus' full acceptance of her fragrant offering. What especially touches my heart is when people begin to criticize her for being wasteful, Jesus becomes very protective of her. "Leave her alone,” He says, “Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me" (Mark 14:6 NIV).

This is good reminder that in the world's eyes, extravagant offerings to the Lord may seem foolish and wasteful. But, to the Lord they are "a beautiful thing." My heart's cry is that I would hold nothing back from the Lord, that the whole of my life would be a pleasing and fragrant offering to the Lord. I pray Lord that just as the woman in Bethany broke the alabaster jar of expensive perfume and anointed You, Jesus, I too would "pour  my vial of worship over You" regardless of what anyone thinks or says Jesus. Help me Holy Spirit to give generously and with wild abandon to the Lord! To the Father's glory! Amen.

Starfield: unashamed

What does it mean to be made whole, to be made complete? Because everyday I am confronted with the reality that my soul is fractured and in need of healing. Some days are better than others, but there are those moments where I come face to face with my brokenness; soulish moments where the wounds of my heart begin to lash out at God, others, even myself. Lately, I've been feeling the force of all the many broken relationships of my past which is effecting my relational capacity to receive love.

Now, I fully understand that Jesus makes me whole. But, what I am learning is that embracing this truth is an ongoing process. It's like I need to continually remind myself that because I am in Christ I have been made complete because in Him my wounds are healed. I believe the reason this is easier said than done is because if I am to be made complete in Jesus, I need to embrace the full extent of my brokenness which is all together scary, humbling, overwhelming and painful to say the least.

But, what helps get me through is the reminder that God is love and that there is no safer place to be than at His feet. He fully accepts me just as I am, period. I don't need to feel ashamed about my brokenness because Jesus fully loves me in my brokenness while He brings healing and redemption to my brokenness. At His feet is where I am fully known and still fully loved. Jesus, "here I am at your feet, in my brokenness complete." 

Rita Springer: phenomenon

A few weeks back God miraculously grew out one of my legs and then evened them out (for the full story click here). While I have been processing this, what the Holy Spirit has brought to my attention is how I can get easily sidetracked by the supernatural. Meaning, when a miracle happens I can very easily forget the Miracle Worker (God) because I am so captivated by the miracle itself. That's why I love this song, it reminds me that I don't follow God because of the supernatural but because I love Him. "I am not here just to see a phenomenon. I am not here for experiential bliss. I simply come to the feet of the God I serve, the One that I love."

God is a supernatural God, Who works miracles. There is no way of getting around this truth. And this song is a great reminder that witnessing and experiencing the supernatural isn't what we ground our faith in. Rather, our faith needs to be rooted in God Himself. The reason God does miracles is to bring people to faith in Him. But, if our faith is solely rooted in the supernatural, then what we'll have is an immature and shallow faith. "I am not here for the sake of a miracle. I am not here just to see the dead raised. Yes I believe in power supernatural, but that's not why I'm saved." We are saved through a Person, Jesus Christ, in Him is where we must put our faith.