Home Again (an original poem)

The day breaks with a clap of thunder and a peel of lightning

the chirping of birds goes silent in the ominous darkness.

Sunshine breaks through these thunderheads of autumn

cascading rays shine, warming the cool damp earth.

A flood of emotion overwhelms me to my knees

bringing Your Spirit back home after so long a time away.

The wisdom of another world gets cataloged in the vault of my mind

making my heart shed long awaited tears of joy.

Within this new awakening, Your Presence finally reaches my soul.

I stand shivering, elated from the warmth of Your touch.

Gently Your warm affirmations soothe my spirit, helping me
trudge through the memories of my life's most dreariest of events.

All of my triumphs and hardships are brought to Your doorstep

You see into my dark heart and cast aside the longing.

Welcoming and lovingly You open my heart to my mind

letting them commune with one another after so long a time apart.

At peace and in the folds of infinite oneness

Your promised gift to me I will cherish in my heart of hearts.

With love and affection I now walk among the many

sharing what I have been given to all who have yet to become.

a new year: engagement

With the passing of the New Year (both Calendar and Chinese), I can't help but to wonder what this coming year may have in store. So far, a lot has happened. The biggest news this year is that I am engaged to a wonderful woman I met last year while in Australia. I proposed to her here in Taiwan. I took her to Kenting, which is one of the most beautiful places in Taiwan. I spent a couple weeks planning the trip. This meant driving down with a friend who knew the area. He showed me the good scenic lookouts, beaches, restaurants and helped me book a hotel. I needed to get a reasonably priced hotel because I needed to book two separate rooms (one for her and one for me). So, I ended up booking two rooms at a "Minzu" which is like a little boutique hotel. The funny thing is, I booked  the nicer suite for her with a nice view while I booked a room down the hall from hers without a view which was half as much. I figured we would spend most of the time talking in her room on the balcony and at the end of the night I would go back to my room which worked out well. 

So onto the night of the proposal. I had a couple options running through my mind which were contingent on the weather. It looked like it might rain or be a but cooler, so I was preparing for this. But, thankfully there was no rain and the temperature was alright. It did end up being a bit windy though. I told her I wanted to dress up a little and go out for dinner. But, before heading out I brought her flowers that I secretly bought earlier in the day and hid in the trunk of the car. Needless to say, she was totally surprised! White flowers are her favorite, specifically lilies which is what I brought. Score!

Next, we went to "Smokey Joe's" which is a Tex-Mex type of restaurant. It was nice, I asked the hostess seat us away from people so that we could have some privacy. At this point, I think she knew that I may propose to her (and afterwards she said that she thought I would propose to her in the restaurant), but as I have kidded with her over the previous weeks: "she will not know the time nor the place that I will propose, but it will happen." So needless to say, it wasn't ever in my plan to propose to her in the restaurant. After dinner, we drove to a little beach area down the street and ended up sitting on a blanket while looking at the surf and stars. 
It was a very romantic moment and this is when I popped the question. While we were holding each other I pulled out the ring and asked her in Chinese: 你願意嫁給我嗎？which is "Will you marry me?" She said "yes!" But this special moment didn't last too long because the wind really picked up and started blowing sand everywhere, so we decided to head back to the hotel. This is where we took some more traditional photos of me on my knee. After spending some time talking on the balcony, we said our goodnights and I headed back to my room. All in all, the night was quietly romantic. No big fanfare, just me and her spending a very special moment together. We spent the next day at a white sand beach where we were the only ones on the beach for a couple hours. It was a sweet first moment together as an engaged couple. God truly blessed us throughout the trip. He made it a very, very special time for us. One that will be an endearing keepsake we will both remember for the rest of our lives. We truly are feeling blessed by God to be in each other's lives.
There is a amazing future waiting for us and we are excited to walk into everything God has planned for us as a married couple. But, as my fiance prayed for us just tonight was that we would always be a Presence driven couple that consciously makes room for Jesus to lead and guide us by showing hospitality to the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives and marriage. Now I don't say this naively like we are going to live some fairy tale life where there will be no trials, testings or trouble. No, I say this understanding that all of these will come but I say this from a place of faith, believing that no matter what happens Jesus will be with us releasing love, grace and faith to us as we go through whatever trials, testings or even trouble that may come our way. This is God's promise to us: that He will never leave us nor forsake us, but will be with us always even to the end of this age.
 Jesus gave up everything to make sure that there is no space, no gap between us and Him. Jesus sacrificed everything so that we could be close to Him. Not close in the sense of being next to Him, but so close that we are literally in Him and He is literally in us. That's why He sent the Holy Spirit to dwell within everyone of His followers. I can't tell you how excited we both are to spend the rest of our lives together with Jesus. If you know anything about either of us, you would know that it's a miracle that we are even together. We have both been through quite a lot journeying through this life, but those stories are for another time. 
There's a very special song that has deep meaning for both of us called "Bless the Broken Road" by Selah. You see, we have both spent our fair share of time searching for true love, but ended up only finding heartache and heartbreak. It's only after we found the perfect love of God that our journey ended and a new one began. A journey that has brought us into the very heart of God which is not only where we have found each other but also so much more. Do you think it's time for your current journey to end and for a new one to start?

Mobile Prayer Station: DAY 40

What can I say? Today was exciting. Forty days of the Mobile Prayer Station, "it's biblical." Now when I was first starting out forty days of prayer wasn't even on the radar. Personally, I think I was thinking I'd be out more days, but then again what the Lord impressed on my heart throughout this whole adventure was love over obligation. I will write another blog focusing more on reflections and lessons learned throughout the whole of the forty day experience so stay tuned. 

I got to see lots of people today that I've been growing in relationship with from the community which was nice. I've been slowly telling people of my plans of travelling overseas so I've gotten to say some goodbyes. What I've been slowly learning over the years is the importance of saying goodbye. The more I'm able to say goodbye the better I've become at saying hello. I got to do this with quite a few people today which was sad, but also endearing. In saying goodbye I got to reflect and remember just how the other person has impacted my life, how close we've grown and how I will miss them. Saying goodbye has the power to draw us into the depths of our hearts if we allow it. 

There were a few nice surprises today as I got to interpret a dream for Maureen who is the girl I buy my ice coffees from each day. Jose came by to say goodbye and we ended up praying for one another. My dear old friend Glory stopped by whom I haven't seen in like eight years and spent some time together talking and praying. I prayed with a few other friends today from church, as well as, an old childhood friend who just happened to be walking by. So cool! The day ended with Sean, who is a card carrying Coexister who said that he has constructed his own personal religion from lots of other ones. We talked for a bit about faith and life. I ended up praying for him and he started to weep. I told him that he was feeling the presence of God and he agreed. He shared a dream and I asked God to bring interpretation and He did. I love it when God includes me when He draws near to someone. The dream was from God and highly revelatory, I actually saw the lights go on in his eyes as we talked through the interpretation. God is so good!

Lastly, I ended up giving the Mobile Prayer Station sign to my friend Scott Venable who is the pastor of Mosaic Church. We talked and prayed for one another and then He tells me that he will definitely put the sign to use. He shared how he was going to get a street performer permit and continue on with the Mobile Prayer Station. YES! It truly warmed my heart to hear that the vision God gave me has been passed on to someone else who will carry it which is something I've been praying in my heart for over the last few weeks. Thank You Lord! He even said that he was hoping to get some other people in his church to get street performer permits so that they could rotate people through. Wow! Gotta love multiplication. I love the missional focus of what Mosaic Church is doing and have a prophetic feeling that God is going to move mighty through this church to bring spiritual awakening to the area. 

At the end of the day, I know that Jesus used my presence with the Mobile Prayer Station to impact lives both directly and indirectly. I pray that you, who are reading this, were also encouraged and your faith was strengthen as you read how God drew near to people. He loves people and is eager to be in relationship with us. I am definitely looking forward to when I finally get to see Jesus face to face and have Him tell me exactly what He did through the Mobile Prayer Station. Well, this chapter of my life is finished, but there is another one ready to be written/read. I head out to Brisbane, Australia in two days! I've had so much to do in getting ready for this trip and if you continue to read my blog you will discover with me all that God has planned for me while I'm there. Though the future is unknown to me, I find peace in knowing that it is known to God and that my life is in His able, loving, caring Hands. Peace, Gerry.

making much of Jesus

My prayer this morning has been to ask the Holy Spirit to cultivate in me in greater and greater measure the simple passion to make much of Jesus. My reasoning behind this is if I am seeking to making much of Jesus then it won’t matter who I’m talking with or the situation I’m in because if my greatest passion is to make much of Jesus, this will move me to give grace, to sacrifice for another, to be slow to anger, to forgive, to be patient, kind and gentle towards others and most importantly to love continually. Simply put, making much of Jesus will mean dying to myself in greater and greater measure because making much of Jesus means making less of myself.

As Jesus tells us, “Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it”. Both Matthew (10:36; 16:25) and Luke (9:24; 17:33) record that Jesus says this twice in His ministry, in three of the four instances Jesus includes the command to “take up your cross and follow Me.” So, if Jesus took the time to repeat Himself, we should pay extra close attention to these words. I believe a good interpretation of “taking up our cross and following Jesus” is taking the time to deal with the barriers that hinder us from following Him. This means asking ourselves: “Where am I trying to preserve my life, when I really should be dying to myself and losing my life?”

If we are to fully accept that the ultimate goal of the inward transformative work of the Holy Spirit is Christlikeness, then this means accepting the reality that life truly is not about us any longer. So we must stop striving to cultivate a righteousness of our own and simply receive in greater and greater measure the gift of Christ’s righteousness imputed to us through the cross. The more we let go of ourselves, the more we will gain Christ. What this looks like walked out is whenever we choose to forgive someone just as Jesus forgave His persecutors while hanging on the cross, He is formed within us. When we choose to give grace to someone just as Jesus extended grace to everyone He met along the way, He is formed within us. When we choose to put others needs before ours just as Jesus did in ministering to the multitudes of people who came to Him for healing, He is formed within us. I could go on, but I think you get the idea.

Making much of Jesus means allowing the Holy Spirit to do what He loves to do, forming Christ within us. The more we grow in Christlikeness, the more the fruit and gifts of the Holy Spirit will flow in and through us and the more we will make much of Jesus. So this is my prayer: Holy Spirit, do what You love to do and make the things of Jesus known to us, but even more than that, we release You to disrupt our comfortable lives in order to form Christ within us. Cultivate more of Your fruit and gifts within us, empowering us to make much of Jesus in every relationship and in every situation. In His Name we ask, Amen.

simple Fruit

Over the last several years, the Lord has been simplifying my life. This has been an inward transformative work by the Holy Spirit that is now bearing outward fruit. This simple, yet lasting fruit is allowing me to be content in the midst of a town called Morogoro, Tanzania. I have been here for the last few days waiting on a translator while my friend David is in Dar es Salaam procuring a car among other goods for our journey. Morogoro is a rural town with not much in terms of modern world amenities. It is a simple life here, where the power can go out at any moment (just the other day, January 17, 2011, it was out for nearly 10 hours). Small street side shops line dusty roads while others sell their wares on sidewalks. The larger shops have generators which are a God send when the power fails.

Now what the Holy Spirit has been highlighting to me is that it is by the grace of God I can be content here (or anywhere for that matter). You maybe saying well of course, but the way this grace has been apportioned to me is two-fold. First, providentially there is the inward transformative work He’s done in freeing me from the stranglehold of materialism which has helped me to gain a greater eternal perspective on life in general. It’s sad how much influence materialism has and consumerism for that matter (because you can’t have materialism without consumerism) in clouding a person’s judgment and perspective. Add to this the many years the Lord has impressed upon me the need to live a fasted lifestyle also helps to keep the world at bay. The fruit of much of this good work has manifested itself in the contentment of living a simple lifestyle.

This is not to say that I don’t need or want things because I do, but these desires no longer control me. Pressing into the Lord is becoming more and more of my first impulse rather than a second, third, even last resort. Case and point, I’ve spent a day fasting and praying alone in my room while here in Morogoro because seeing the Father’s Kingdom agenda happen has become more important than sightseeing or eating out. Again, I give all praise to God for this because it is by His providential grace of transformation through the Holy Spirit that this is now my passion and reality. Secondly, I would add that God is continually lavishing His grace upon all people, but it is His children who have learned to more readily receive and depend on His grace. Compound this with the prayers of my supporters and I truly am blessed. His grace truly is new each and every morning and I feel His grace through their prayers. If this is you, THANK YOU! Together we can by God's grace!

African Time

Integrating into the Tanzanian culture has meant accepting the reality of African time. Simply put, African time is the understanding that life happens, so delay happens. So far, I see two contributing factors to “African time.” Firstly, because the majority (89%) of Tanzanians are living on less than $1.25 a day, this means their access and means to things is limited. Hence, walking everywhere is commonplace which creates delay. Secondly, in my last post, I described the importance of knowing another’s life news. I believe this also feeds into African time. Greeting people is so very important to Tanzanians and spending a few minutes greeting someone is commonplace. Now put these two scenarios together and you have African time. On the one hand, you have people walking everywhere and as they are walking along they are spending a significant amount of time greeting their friends and neighbors.

Currently, I am reading this book called “Soul Guide” by Bruce Demarest. In this book on spiritual direction he makes a fair observation of the current Western culture that people are seen more as obstacle then opportunities. Let me explain, Westerners like to fill their days with appointment after appointment (yes, I am guilty of this) and when we encounter people throughout our day, they become more like obstacles to get over or around, so that we don’t miss our next appointment. Now, the challenge the author puts to us is this: rather than seeing the person before us as a hindrance to our next appointment, see this person as our next “divine” appointment. Maybe a good lesson we can learn from African time is that we need to slow down and take the time to greet one another. Who knows the next person that “gets in your way” maybe the very person in whom you can impact for all eternity with the good news of the Gospel?

Habari Yako?

Over this past week, I had the opportunity to visit some friends who were called by God two years ago to share Jesus with the Zanzibari people. My initial experience of the Zanzibari people was that they see “wazungu” (white people) or “watlii” (tourists) as $$. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been harassed to look at this or to buy that or beckoned to come over here or there. Now I fully understand that from their perspective that’s why the “wazungu” come to Zanzibar, for tourism. I found it interesting to watch the Zanzibaris interact with my friends who are fluent in Swahili. They would walk up to them just as they did me and say a greeting in Swahili, but whenever my friends greeted them back or asked them questions in return in Swahili, they would simply walk away. Hence, I couldn’t help but feel like most of the time, they were simply sizing people up. The saying on the island is that there is the “wazungu” price and then the “Zanzibari” or “real” price. Now, if that’s all the interaction I had with Zanzibaris, my conclusion would be that they are no different than the locals in any other touristy city I’ve ever been too.

But, because my friends have been living on Zanzibar for two years, they have made some “rafiki” (friends) in which they are in genuine fellowship with. It is through seeing their interaction that I’ve come to see the heart and beauty of the Zanzibari people. Relationships are so very important to Zanzibaris and knowing the “news” (habari) of one another’s life is crucial. Whenever I was walking with my friend around their home, it was imperative that she greet everyone and ask of the news of their life. At any given encounter these and many more questions would be asked: “Habari yako? (what’s your news?) Habari nyumbani? (what’s the news of your household?) Habari mama? (what’s the news of your mother?) Habari baba? (what’s the news of your father?) Habari Dar? (what’s the news in Dar?)” and so on and so forth. Granted though the answer to these questions was almost exclusively “nzuri” (good), what stuck me was the importance in asking about the “news” of one another’s lives. So let me ask you: Habari yako?

Enter the Worship Circle: I Could Run Away (performed by Josh Kuipers)

This song has been a lifeline to me this past week. I've really needed the reminder that Jesus will always be "right by my side" no matter what. That there's nothing that can separate us. I am in Him and He is in me, forever. Even when I sin, He is still near me because His blood covers my sins (past, present and future). Sure, I still need to confess my sins in reverence and honor to Him as the Holy Spirit continually purifies me of unrighteousness. But, because I am in Christ, there is nothing that can separate me from Him or the Father's love. Thank you Holy Spirit for the reminder this week that Jesus will always be with me, every step of the way!"

I could run away

You would always stay
Right by my side

Everything I've ever wanted
I've found in you

Oh I need you
Every step of the way

 

Rita Springer: Worth It All

Over the past few weeks, this song has been a life line to me as God has been testing my heart in challenging me towards faithfulness to Jesus. During this rough patch of my sanctification, I have been telling myself that: "It's gonna be worth it. It's gonna be worth it. It's gonna be worth it all. I believe this." At times, this has been the only thing I can stammer out of my mouth. But, the Holy Spirit who lives within me has brought to my heart and mind moment after moment when Jesus has faithfully healed, saved and restored me. In those dark and troubling times when the temptation of sin is so very great, this song suddenly comes to mind (has that ever happen to you?). I believe that the Holy Spirit is behind this, He is reminding me to remember that "Jesus is worth it!" That Jesus is worth far more than any fleeting pleasure or possession. That Jesus is worth persevering through every trial and testing. I share this in hopes that this song can be an encouragement to you during the testings of your heart. Jesus is worth it.

Connecting

If you have ever spent anytime in a big city, then you have seen and possibly enjoyed or been annoyed by a street performer. Now, if you're like me, my natural inclination is to typically ignore them and walk on by. Sometimes I may stop for a second to watch and then quickly move on. Now, there are those rare occasions where I actually pause long enough to reach into my pocket in order to bless their talents with some money. But at no time does it really ever cross my mind to actually walk up to them in order to talk and get to know them. This is why I really love these videos because they give voice to a person who is usually voiceless.

No longer is this street performer just a nameless face, but he becomes Salvador Medrano, a Guatemalan who has a passion for performing because he knows that people enjoy hearing him. And Pablo Cesar Pereira, a Brazilian with an eclectic past who loves connecting with people. Everyone has a story and the more that I grow in loving people, the more that I've come to realize that loving people well means allowing them to tell their story. It means making room for them in my life where their story can intersect with my story and ultimately with God's story. It also means making room for them in my heart where they may experience the love of God that resides within me through Jesus in the presence of the Holy Spirit.

God is definitely stretching me these days by continually reminding me that it's not about me. The Holy Spirit is pressing me to truly give myself over to the Father's will by allowing Jesus to live His life through me. God is asking me to make myself more available to Him, so that He can love people with wild abandon through me. The more I live, move and have my being in God (Acts 17:28), the more I realize that I have a lot to learn about unconditional love. So, this is my prayer for me and for you: "that the Holy Spirit would help us to see the world more and more with Jesus' eyes and to love people more and more with the Father's heart. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Longing for God

There is this relentless longing in my heart which makes me ask: What am I longing for?

Now on a good day, which is a day that I had the opportunity to interact in a significant and deep way with one or two people, this longing within me actually grows. Whenever I get to really connect with others, it's in these moments that I feel their intense longing which reinforces my own longing and deepens my own hunger for God. It's at the end of these days that I can't wait to be in the presence of God. Have you ever been so hungry or thirsty for something that it was painful?

Now, it's really easy to get bogged down by our earthly cravings and we all have to contend with these types of longings. What I'm talking about are our soul cravings. What is it that your soul hungers and thirsts for?

I'm reminded of Jesus' words that "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they will be filled (Matt 5:6)." Spend some time asking yourself this question: What does it mean to hunger and thirst for righteousness?

Alone with God

Since the beginning of this year, I have been making a concerted and intentional effort to give myself at least 30 minutes of face time with Jesus in the morning in prayer and worship. Before I even get out of bed, I turn the lights on, grab my bible and start reading. What I've come to realize is that there are so many things in this world that are vying for my attention and trying to pull my attention away from Jesus. If I don't start my day by connecting with Jesus in a real, deep and personal way, I've noticed that my days are much more burdensome. And the place where that happens for me is in reading God's Word.

How can I explain it? When I connect with God in the morning, I mean really connect with Him (and not just going through the motions, just to say I did it that my friends is legalism), it's like every morning God tells me that He loves me and that He'll be with me the whole day, strengthening me to resist temptation when I'm weak and helping me step out of my comfort zone in order to love somebody by being Christ to them. It's during these mornings that I get to hear that I am His beloved child with whom He is well pleased.

Every morning, I spend some time reading prayfully and canonically a psalm from books 1-3 of the book of Psalms and also a chapter from the Gospel according to Mark. On some days I'll read a little from Romans as well. I have no agenda, except to let the Word of God have its way with me, to let it do to me what it will. If I'm reading a psalm, I let the emotions of the words fill and resonate within my heart. We all have burdens that we carry, so I will oftentimes connect a current situation in my life to the psalm and let the psalm be my prayer to God.

After that, I get into the life of Jesus. I've been paying particularly close attention to Jesus actions. How He touched people. If you're like me, I have a tendency to gravitate and focus on Jesus' words (the red letters) because they are so profound and powerful. Jesus spoke to people's hearts and that truth changed them. So, most of the time, I'll just scan over the narrative sections (the black letters) making little mental notes of where Jesus is and where He's going. But, these days, I've been realizing that Jesus' compassion and humanity really shines in His actions towards people. He made it a point to touch people and allow Himself to be touched by people. I'll often imagine myself in the story, maybe as a person in the crowd tryng desperately to get a glimpse of Jesus or possibly even touch Him.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to touch Jesus?