Mobile Prayer Station: MEMORIAL DAY 14

To be honest I was dragging my feet a little to get on the street. I couldn't really put my finger on why, but I actually spent quite a bit of time praying and asking God to motivate me and give me the strength to go. I thought I had a pretty good excuse. "Well Lord, it's a holiday and none of the buses are running so I'll have to carry the sign all the way to the train and my back's been really acting up. I mean most everyone will probably be barbecuing or at the lake front anyways." But, then the Lord reminded of the 88 Higgins bus which I normally wouldn't take, but could catch about 2 blocks away which I took as confirmation that He wanted me out on the street. 

Today was a hot one and I think everyone was out and about which kind of gave the day a bit of a different feel. Normally, people are on errands or getting off work or taking their kids to the park or going out for dinner, etc. But, today everyone was off work and ready to relax and blow off some stream. Lots of people were drinking at the outdoor restaurant on the corner, even on the street corner. People seemed overdue for a hot day after the many cold and rainy ones which seemed to put many people in a good mood. I spent most of the day saying hi to people while quietly praying for revival for the area and asking God to spark Divine curiosity in people. 

I am always encouraged when I see people I've prayed for before and today Ryle came back around and asked me to pray for encouragement for him as he was going to spend the day reading in the park. I did and also included a prayer about enjoying and being amazed at God's creation. That's typically how I pray for people, I pray for their requests but also pray for the things that the Lord places on my heart to pray for. Later on, Sara and Jordy came up to me and said, "So, we decided to come back and ask you about what you're doing." This has been happening more and more often, people will walk by and then circle back around. For Sara and Jordy, I had the honor of praying for God's peace for them as well as for a balancing of their lives. 

Now for most of the day I was engaged in conversation with an interesting gentlemen who I first met on DAY 3 and have been seeing on and off since. Dave and I talked on three separate occasions today about religion. He was on his bike, so what would happen is that we would talk for about 15 minutes or so and then he would ride off. After a little while he would ride on back and we would talk some more. Let me just this about Dave, he has been through quite a lot and well is a very vocal and opinionated man. Long story short, he says he is very political and has numerous complaints against various law enforcement officers which he says don't take too kindly of him. He actually told me that if the police see him talking to me may begin to harass me. What Dave doesn't realize is that my God is greater than him and the police combined. 

After listening to him share about how against he was of organized religion, I had the opportunity to talk about Jesus, rather than church. I think there are so many people who have been hurt or burned by the church that to convince them that the church is anything but evil would be near impossible. Or people see the many abuses within the church by preachers and pastors particularly it terms of money (which was Dave's complaint) that again in their minds they're like "Religion, what a joke." And whose to blame them. That's why instead of talking about church, I talk about Jesus and what He says it means to follow Him and be His disciple: loving and worshiping God genuinely and honestly, loving people unconditionally and not judging them and helping people and serving the world. 

While talking with Dave, God showed me a picture of dark and looming clouds hovering over him. God further revealed to me that this deep darkness has been over his life for a very long time and I began to sense various curses over his life. So, I asked Dave, "If he believed in a spiritual realm?" He didn't because he said it wasn't quantifiable. So, I shared my story with him which seemed to take him back a bit. I could see that it sparked something, so I pressed him further and asked him I could pray for healing for his carpal tunnel and the pains of his heart. Surprisingly, he said yes but asked if I could not be too flashy about it. So, I prayed on the down low with him. I prayed for healing for his carpal tunnel, healing for the pains of his heart and then I broke off the dark cloud that's been overshadowing his life, in Jesus Name. 

All I have to say is that something happened. Dave's demeanor changed. He became very excited. It was almost like there was a surge of energy flowing through him which I'm believing was the Holy Spirit doing some work. He kept thanking me which was bit odd and then with a quick see you later, sped off on his bike. I mean Dave is a bit ADD to put it mildly, just from talking with him I can tell his mind races at a high velocity. Regardless, I'm looking forward to seeing him again and getting an update about what's going on with him, how his wrist is doing and to also discern for myself if there's some change with him. So, remember Dave in your prayers. Pray that God's kingdom of light would continue to take more ground in Dave's life and that God would bring greater revelation of Jesus to him. Thanks. 

walking the Way

While I’ve been traveling through Tanzania over this past month, I’ve had the opportunity to meet several Pentecostal pastors and quite a few Catholic priests. Many of the conversations I’ve been having with these church leaders has centered on my faith journey with Jesus. To give a little background, image is very important in Tanzania and all pastors and priests wear trousers, a button down shirt at minimum and usually a tie and coat even though it is consistently hot (90+˚ F). Pan over to me and I am wearing a t-shirt and shorts, jeans maybe. While I’ve been here I have actually purchased some trousers and button down shirts. Going to church in less would be disrespectful and preaching in less would be unheard of. Needless to say, it’s been an interesting journey.

Whenever I’ve had the opportunity to really sit down with these church leaders and talk with them, I can’t help but to sense that they are very curious about my tattoos. This is only heightened when I tell them that I have spent six years in seminary, hold two Master degrees (one in Divinity and the other in Counseling Ministries) and pastor in America. I just don’t fit the typical pastor mold. Now it would be very easy for me to be offended, but rather then seeing this as an obstacle, I see it as an opportunity to talk about how Jesus saved me and brought me out of darkness and into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9). I love seeing their faces light up when I begin to share my story of hope and healing with them because they can’t help but to be impacted by God’s unconditional love, His amazing grace and Almighty power.

But, these situations are nothing new to me. From the earliest days after Jesus saved me, He impressed upon me 1 Corinthians 1:27-29, “But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God” (ESV). You see, a drug addict and dealer are considered foolish, low and despised in the world’s eyes and that’s what I was. God let me know very early that I had nothing to offer Him, which is extremely humbling. But, by God’s love, grace and power, He has transformed me and my life is now a living testimony to the truth of these verses. I am one of God’s many trophies that He wants to show to the world.

It’s amazing the favor God has given me with people and with whom He has placed me in the company of. The more I’ve leaned into God’s grace and relied upon Him to make the way forward, He has opened up opportunity after opportunity for me to preach, pastor and pray for people. It’s funny, by the world’s way of doing things I should probably try to promote myself by hiding my tattoos, dressing the part of a pastor and talking of my degrees and minimizing or even skipping the ugly of my past. But, whenever I am in situations like these, Holy Spirit faithfully reminds me that to do that would be minimizing God’s grace and anointing upon my life. Jesus has captured my heart and place within me this all-consuming passion to worship, serve and make Him known to the world. I truly can do nothing less. As Peter told Jesus, “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life” (John 6:68 NLT). There is no place else for me to go, but to following Jesus wherever He is going and calling me to follow, so that I may proclaim of His grace, love, mercy and power!

Bad Religion: we are only gonna die

Recently, a friend of mine changed her Facebook profile pic to one that reminded me of when we used to run wild in the streets of Chicago as a couple of punk rock kids. When I sit down and really think about those days, they were some pretty painful times of my past. I was so angry at the world and I wanted everyone to feel my pain. This song was one of my favorites back then. From as far back as I can remember, music has always helped me find my voice. If you ever want to know where I'm at in this journey through life just ask me what songs I'm listening to, they will clue you in to what's currently on my heart.

Today, the music that reflects the voice of my heart is far different then what it was. Thankfully, God has healed the painful memories of my past and eased the anger that poured out of my every pore. I have found peace. Not just any peace, but a peace that transcends this very world. Through Jesus I have made peace with God, with others and with myself. My past no longer controls my present, nor dictates my future. There's a Scripture verse that describes my life with God now: "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'" (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV). It's true.

Hillsong United: FIRE FALL DOWN

Whenever I feel broken this song helps to remind me of God's faithfulness in healing, saving, redeeming and restoring my life. I've been on such an amazing journey with God these past 10 years or so. Sometimes I wish I was further ahead on this journey then I am, but it's in these moments that I need to remind myself that I can't make myself grow any faster. I need to remind myself that I am completely dependent on God's grace and mercy. After all, it is His love that sustains me. Thank You Lord that You really do fix broken lives. Thank You for fixing mine. 

All That I Am

Lost in this world full of demons and ghosts,
I walk heavy-laden with their spittle upon my soul.
Enshrouded in darkness, their essence hardens all that I am, trapping me
within a solid steel shell that hinders
my walk back towards You. Enslaved and filled
with the evil desires from this other worldly land, You
shower me with love, gently nurturing me with a kind hand
replacing these lustful wants with a simple love and devotion
which starts to soften all that I am.

With the knowledge of this new found love and devotion, questions
surface and pour out from the deepest part of my soul.
Is there something more to this spiritual world?
Can there be a new beginning? Can I be set free?
Fear grips me in its steel grasp, sending me
reeling in insecurity to a vacuous stronghold. Frozen
in an arctic desert of uncertainty, I stand
shivering in space. Fiery missiles rain down from above - penetrating
this hardened layer, this false covering. Spearing
into the ground, crackling the frozenness, baking
the land, melting its cold comfort
which starts to warm all that I am.

Beginning by opening my heart, You purposefully speak
directly to my spirit, reassuring me that the deep ache within
me will be finally filled and that I will be free.
Hearing Your Word as it starts to pour into my soul, You
answer all my questions that now flow freely out to You.
Longing for the quiet peacefulness of Your arms, I wait -
with an open heart and willing spirit as Your transcending
peace envelopes me, basking me in a light
of purity, housing me in a true safe haven
which starts to reshape all that I am.

Throw me into the fire of forgiveness, purge me
of all this misbegotten shame and guilt, mold me
into a man of character, into a man of integrity, refining
all that I am into all that I will ultimately become.

My Father's Garden

I am always marvelled by the beauty and complexities of creation. I mean, how can a person not be absolutely amazed while watching this video? Now personally, insects kind of give me the creeps, but when I see extreme close ups of them it's like I am mysteriously intrigued and almost hypnotized by their strange armored beauty. Oftentimes, this makes me wonder how the Fall of Mankind has effected creation. When I see thorns, bristles and the needles of cacti I have to wonder if these are the result of sin. Going back to the insects, was it only after Adam and Eve sinned that bees grew stingers and female praying mantises began eating their mates? If I believe the Word of God that says through the sin of one man, death entered the world (Romans 5:12) and that all creation has been groaning to be released from its own bondage and decay (Romans 8:21, 22), then I must believe that even creation has been effected by sin - cursed to some degree.

When I sit back and really ponder this, it makes me think, wow, so the magnitude and true beauty of creation is yet to be seen. When creation is fully redeemed, when as Isaiah described that, "The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them" (Isaiah 11:6) and that "The wolf and the lamb will feed together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox, but dust will be the serpent's food. They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain" (Isaiah 65:25). This means that we have yet to see the full beauty of creation. Can you even imagine that? Absolute peace among all creation where lions and oxes will both be vegetarians and where children will play among wolves and leopards.

I love meditating on redemption. It makes my heart happy and so much more thankful and grateful for Jesus and the fact that it is only because of Him that people are saved and transformed into new creations (2 Corinthians 5:17). But, even more than that through Jesus all of creation will also be fully redeemed. Amazing!

Sarah McLachlan: Blackbird

Whenever I hear this song, it reminds me of redemption which naturally makes me think about my own redemption in Jesus and the amazing miracles He's done in my life. More specifically, when I hear the lyrics "Take these broken wings and learn to fly - all your life." I am reminded that as God has healed and redeemed me of my drug addiction, He has in every way healed my broken wings and has now taught me to fly. Also, when I hear the lyrics "Take these sunken eyes and learn to see - all you life." I am reminded that I was once blind, but now I can see the light! Jesus has given me an eternal perspective on life where before all I saw was pain and suffering, but now I can see hope and healing.

Jesus has set me free to live, move and dance in the freedom of being a beloved child of God, who is loved completely and who loves freely. But, He has also invited and empowered me to bring the hope that He has placed within me to share with a lost and broken world. "Blackbird fly, blackbird fly into the light of the dark black night." That's how these words effect me. I am to take the light of the Gospel into dark places, "into the dark black night."