All That I Am

Lost in this world full of demons and ghosts,
I walk heavy-laden with their spittle upon my soul.
Enshrouded in darkness, their essence hardens all that I am, trapping me
within a solid steel shell that hinders
my walk back towards You. Enslaved and filled
with the evil desires from this other worldly land, You
shower me with love, gently nurturing me with a kind hand
replacing these lustful wants with a simple love and devotion
which starts to soften all that I am.

With the knowledge of this new found love and devotion, questions
surface and pour out from the deepest part of my soul.
Is there something more to this spiritual world?
Can there be a new beginning? Can I be set free?
Fear grips me in its steel grasp, sending me
reeling in insecurity to a vacuous stronghold. Frozen
in an arctic desert of uncertainty, I stand
shivering in space. Fiery missiles rain down from above - penetrating
this hardened layer, this false covering. Spearing
into the ground, crackling the frozenness, baking
the land, melting its cold comfort
which starts to warm all that I am.

Beginning by opening my heart, You purposefully speak
directly to my spirit, reassuring me that the deep ache within
me will be finally filled and that I will be free.
Hearing Your Word as it starts to pour into my soul, You
answer all my questions that now flow freely out to You.
Longing for the quiet peacefulness of Your arms, I wait -
with an open heart and willing spirit as Your transcending
peace envelopes me, basking me in a light
of purity, housing me in a true safe haven
which starts to reshape all that I am.

Throw me into the fire of forgiveness, purge me
of all this misbegotten shame and guilt, mold me
into a man of character, into a man of integrity, refining
all that I am into all that I will ultimately become.