My Beloved Prodigal Son

The struggle portrayed in this video is all too familiar. Judging and condemning thoughts are ever present in my life and if I'm not careful they will consume me. But, thankfully God has shown me mercy. The devil, the world, even our own thoughts will try to continually condemn us by refusing to let us be free of our past, but Jesus offers us forgiveness and redemption from our past. When we come to Him, He wipes the slate clean and we get a second, third, fourth, fifth, etc. chance. He will hit the delete button everyday if need be. His forgiveness is total and complete. There are no conditions to His forgiveness, we just need to recognize that we need it and then ask for it.

The Bible says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Next time, when you are in the thick of battle with raging thoughts filling your mind, pause for a moment and invite God into the foray and let His peace descend upon you like a dove. Remember Jesus has already overcome the devil and the world. He will even overcome us and our judging and condemning thoughts if we let Him!

SafetySuit: anywhere but here

I've been in love before, it is wonderful. I long to be in love again. But, the sad reality of my past life of drug addiction was that though I may have known love, I lacked the character to be in love. Love takes work. It is a more than just a warm feeling of endearment, love is also a choice and a commitment. Today, by the grace of God, I am a different man than I was before. Truly I am a "new creation" (2 Corinthians 5:17) as the Bible claims happens to those who put their faith and trust in Jesus Christ. God has set me free from my 15+ year battle with drug addiciton and has been building character in me while bringing healing to my heart and redemption to my life. It's interesting, all my life I've been searching for love. but it wasn't until I meet Jesus that I learned what true love was. He has shown me that His love for me is constant and unending. He loves me despite any and all my protests of why I am so unloveable and worth leaving. He has become my first love because I know that no matter what: He will never, ever leave me.

A truth that has forever changed the way I see God, others and myself is that: not only does God love me, but He really, really likes me. He actually enjoys spending time with me. I believe many people believe that God loves them because He has to, but that He really doesn't like them. He only puts up with them, again, because He has to. But, nothing could be further from the truth. God delights in us (Zephaniah 3:17). In my journey with Him, I feel like He has sung these lyrics to me: "...you are, beautiful inside. So lovely and I can't see why I'd do anything without you, you are. And when I'm not with you, I know that it's true that I'd rather be anywhere but here without you."

Do you know that God is absolutely crazy in love with you? That He loves spending time with you and hearing you tell Him about your day, all day, everyday! Just like love, faith is also a choice. Each and everyday we all choose to put our faith in something (money, stuff, ourselves, others, etc.). Maybe today's the day you choose to put your faith in what the Bible says about Jesus and the truth that not only does God love you, but that He really really likes you and enjoys spending all the time in the world with you!

Where's the love?

I've been convicted more and more these days of the stinginess of my love. When I read about Jesus' life here on earth, it reveals a love that's full and free. Jesus loved people without strings attached. He met them where they were at and loved them. He gave people the freedom and dignity to choose for themselves how they wanted to respond to His love. That's why I really appreciate this video because it challenges me to love without question, to give my love away completely for free.

But, this video also challenges me to love people fully with all that I am. Again, that's how Jesus loved people, with all of Himself. He held nothing back, not even His very life which He willingly gave up for our sake. His sacrifice was the ultimate selfless act of love in which everyone who chooses to believe and accept this incredible gift can then spend all of eternity with Him in Heaven. Love is so amazing, yet so mysterious at the same time.

When I think about God's unconditional love for me, I am always floored and amazed. The bible talks about "the mystery of God," meaning there are some things about God that we may never, ever understand this side of Heaven. For me, part of the mystery of God is His unconditional love. The more I experience God's love, the more I am overwhlemed by the depth and breadth of His love. If I really sit down to ponder this, I believe that the only way to fully embrace and experience the fullness of God's love would take an eternity. 

The bible says, "We love becuase God first loved us" (1 John 4:19). I find comfort in this because this means that I don't have to generate this full and free love on my own. But the more I press into God's love the more His love will fuel my love both for Him and for others. What an amazing truth! My prayer is that from this day foward you would experience a greater depth and breadth of God's love in your life and that His love would bring healing, salvation and restoration to your life. I pray that God's love would literally begin to bubble out of your heart because it is so full of His love. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Lifehouse: hanging by a moment

This song will always have a special place in my heart. When God first began speaking to me through music, this song was in the top ten. Now, I've always loved music, I remember as a kid I used to love just listening to the radio. Then in high school I joined a punk rock band where I wrote songs about all the anger, angst and loneliness I felt in my heart. For most of my life those were the types of songs that I gravitated towards. It wasn't until God entered my life that He began to connect me to the deeper longings of my heart that lay hidden beneath the anger, angst and loneliness: longings for peace, hope and love. When this happened the music within my heart began to change.

When I say that God began speaking to me through music I mean there were times where I literally felt like the song on the radio was being played just for me, like God was talking directly to my heart in that moment. Has that ever happened to you? Music has played a huge part in how God drew me to Himself. Like I said I was loud and angry, but God used music to connect me to the deeply broken places in my heart; places which I'd ignored for so long, it was like they never existed. But the more I connected with my heart, the more I connected with God and the more I connected with God, the more I connected with my heart. These were some of the most frightening and exciting times of my life: the first days of my spiritual awakening.

Needless to say, I was overwhelmed at everything I was now experiencing. I was really kind of clueless at what was happening. All I knew was that I liked what was happening and I wanted more, but I didn't know what I wanted more of. Looking back I now know that God was literally transforming my heart. So when I first heard this song, the lyrics helped me put words to the deep rumblings in my heart that I was too afraid to embrace let alone speak. Little did I know that all this time God was wooing me, He was showing me just how much He loved and cared for me and how much He desired to be with me and that all the feelings welling up in me reflected the reality that I was actually falling in love with God. "Desperate for changing, starving for truth, I'm closer to where I started chasing after You. I'm falling even more in love with You, letting go of all I've held onto.."

The Goo Goo Dolls: Sympathy

There's something about this song that will always moves me. Maybe it's because the lyrics remind me of my own personal aspirations, the dreams that have the power to consume me if I'm not careful. I can get pretty driven at times where I can isolate myself from others for the sake of achievement. Going after my dreams at the exclusion of others is a lonely path to be on. "I'm killing myself from the inside out and all my fears have pushed you out."

This song makes me think through the priorities of my life and where I've lost sight of what's really important in life. "I wish for things that I don't need (all I wanted) and what I chase won't set me free (all I wanted)." Whenever I hear those lyrics I am reminded of the times where I've put material things over and above people. Where I've made idols of stuff or achievements at the expense of others. Fame and fortune are cruel taskmasters. "It's hard to lead the life you choose (all I wanted) when all your luck's run out on you..."

Receiving sympathy when you feel so undeserving of it can be a very strange feeling indeed. Our shame doesn't know what to do with it and our pride doesn't want to accept it. But, sympathy is a still a gift. Sympathy says, "I may not know what you're going through, but I feel for you." Sympathy motivates people towards love and understanding and has the power to form an invisible bond between persons. Sympathy makes room in a person's heart for another. "Stranger than your sympathy...and I'm not sure where I belong." Sympathy says you belong. 

David Crowder Band: thank You for Hearing me

This song hits really close to home these days because I'm realizing just how much of a gift from God is my faith in Jesus. There are so many people in the world who are searching for something to believe in. My prayer for them is that I hope God guides them to what they are looking for. Ultimately, from my perspective I know that to be God Himself. My life before placing my faith in Jesus and after are like night and day. Before I was lost and wandered aimlessly from one thing to another trying to find satisfaction. Today, I have this satisfaction that I carry around with me because the Holy Spirit dwells within me, His presence dampens the need to find satisfaction elsewhere. 

So, if there is a current anthem to my heart right now this song would be it: "Thank You for loving me....Thank You for finding me....Thank You for hearing me....Thank You for healing me....Thank You for saving me....Thank You for loving me." My heart is so grateful that God has through His grace redirected my faith from so many other things and has placed it firmly upon His one and only amazing Son, Jesus, my Savior and Lord. Thank You God!

What's the anthem of your heart? 

All That I Am

Lost in this world full of demons and ghosts,
I walk heavy-laden with their spittle upon my soul.
Enshrouded in darkness, their essence hardens all that I am, trapping me
within a solid steel shell that hinders
my walk back towards You. Enslaved and filled
with the evil desires from this other worldly land, You
shower me with love, gently nurturing me with a kind hand
replacing these lustful wants with a simple love and devotion
which starts to soften all that I am.

With the knowledge of this new found love and devotion, questions
surface and pour out from the deepest part of my soul.
Is there something more to this spiritual world?
Can there be a new beginning? Can I be set free?
Fear grips me in its steel grasp, sending me
reeling in insecurity to a vacuous stronghold. Frozen
in an arctic desert of uncertainty, I stand
shivering in space. Fiery missiles rain down from above - penetrating
this hardened layer, this false covering. Spearing
into the ground, crackling the frozenness, baking
the land, melting its cold comfort
which starts to warm all that I am.

Beginning by opening my heart, You purposefully speak
directly to my spirit, reassuring me that the deep ache within
me will be finally filled and that I will be free.
Hearing Your Word as it starts to pour into my soul, You
answer all my questions that now flow freely out to You.
Longing for the quiet peacefulness of Your arms, I wait -
with an open heart and willing spirit as Your transcending
peace envelopes me, basking me in a light
of purity, housing me in a true safe haven
which starts to reshape all that I am.

Throw me into the fire of forgiveness, purge me
of all this misbegotten shame and guilt, mold me
into a man of character, into a man of integrity, refining
all that I am into all that I will ultimately become.