Mobile Prayer Station: DAY 18

"It's not about me." That's what I had to tell myself repeatedly today. Since DAY 1, God has taken me on a journey. This journey has not only taken me deeper into the Father's heart, but it has also take me deeper into my own heart. On this journey, I've come to greater revelation of God's heart towards His children both lost and found, but I've also gained greater insight into my own heart. Everyday I need to remind myself that I'm not out here to promote or sell anything, but only to make myself available to those in the community that desire prayer.


Each day I need to catch myself from seeking validation from the number of people I pray with each day because again, "it's not about me." But, isn't this the world that we live in, where success is measured by numbers, rather than obedience? I believe that God desires that I be on the street and my satisfaction should come solely from my obedience to Him. It's when my self-worth gets caught up in seeking validation in the number of people I pray with that I can lose my way and start being more heat than light with people where I'll tend to be overly pushy with people about praying with them. And to be honest, I'd be more of a nuisance to people than anything else.


What I feel God has been teaching me (besides humility) is that He is in control and that He will draw people to me to pray with, but my focus needs to be on the Father's heart. I shouldn't worry about whether or not I'm going to get to pray with anyone each day because God is in control and I need to trust in Him. Sure I could strive in my flesh to try and promote what I'm doing out here and get people to pray with me. But then I'd lose sight of not only the Father's heart, but also of the person's heart that I'm praying with because it starts being all about me again. When clearly the Lord's been showing me that, "it's not about me," but about His heart towards people which is far bigger than mine and I need to be caught up into His heart if I'm truly going to love people like I know He wants me to.


Every single person that comes by the Mobile Prayer Station is a gift and precious to God and though I did get to pray with a few people today (Dan, Casey & her kids and a girl and her family), wouldn't you know that God opened up a way after I repented for making it all about me. It's been freeing to let go of a little more of my validation seeking self that loves to strive in my own strength (flesh) in order to feel good about myself and just simply embracing more of the Father's love and grace for me. I don't make the way, God does. My only task is to follow Him and be obedient to what He is calling me to, leaving all the results up to God as He leads me through this life. Even if I get mocked and persecuted while on the street with the Mobile Prayer Station, I need to trust that God is still in control and that my satisfaction comes from knowing that I've been obedient to Him.