Mobile Prayer Station: DAY 21

My friend Steffan, who is currently a student at the International House of Prayer University in Kansas City (you may be more familiar with their Prayer Room), came into town to visit. So, we ended up spending most of the day together which meant spending some time on the street with the Mobile Prayer Station. It felt good to be ministering side-by-side together on the street. Normally, I'm not out on Saturdays unless I feel prompted by the Lord, which I did. I felt the Holy Spirit say to me "this is a discipleship moment." So, after talking at my house for a while we headed out. 


I'm not sure what you're expecting to hear right now, but in the hour and a half that we were out the only person that we ended up praying with was my friend Jeff. Jeff always brightens my day, so it truly was a joy to be able to pray with him. Oh yeah, my friend also prayed for healing for my ongoing back pain which felt immediately better after he prayed. This was great! (I was trying to down playing it on purpose for effect, but I'm not sure how effective this was written rather than spoken). Percentage wise I'd say my back felt 20% better. The prayer was simple, Steffan just asked God to heal my back in Jesus name. Though my back wasn't completely healed in that moment, some restoration did happen. Sometimes, I feel like unless we see an instantaneous miracle we failed to recognize that God did bring some healing. Sure, I wish my back was 100% healed, but regardless I am thankful for the 20%. 


Discipleship, the word has all sorts of meanings. Today, it meant being obedient to the voice of God in my life and taking Steffan with me on the street with the Mobile Prayer Station. I had no clue what would happen. Honestly, I thought that some amazing things would happen as we prayed with the people of the community. But, I guess God had other plans in bringing more restoration into my own life. Today was a good reminder that following Jesus means walking by faith in obedience to what He is calling us to do each and every day. Regardless of what I thought would happen, I need to remember to just come with an expectant heart while believing that God will move in amazing ways. The results are always up to God because He is the One who answers the prayers. Our job is to only ask them. 

Mobile Prayer Station: DAY 20

Today I met a man named Wolfgang, who approached me because he thought that he could have a pleasantly civil conversation with me. So, he put his belongings on the ground and we talked about faith and life. Between sips from his homemade concoction of milk and liquor Wolfgang shared with me that he has traveled to over 40 countries and has his sights set on the North Pole and Antarctica next. He immigrated over to the States from Germany over 45+ years ago. But, according to Wolfgang he is not German, only Human. 


During our conversation I couldn't help but to see glimmers of light and lucidity come through Wolfgang's dim and hazy alcohol influenced stream of consciousness. There were moments in which his whole face would light up and he would say, seemingly out of nowhere, some very profoundly encouraging words to me. But, it was painfully obvious that Wolfgang is firmly in denial about where his alcoholism has taken him. As our conversation turned toward faith, he cordially listened to my stories of love and transformation, but I could tell that my words of God's Kingdom fell on the hard packed soil of his heart where as Jesus says, "when they hear, immediately Satan comes and takes away the word sown in them" (Mark 4:15b HCSB). 


Our hearts should breaks for Wolfgang because "Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe. They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News. They don’t understand this message about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God" (2 Corinthians 4:4 NLT). I can remember standing right where Wolfgang is standing in denial about my drug addiction and blinded by satan. But, I can also remember God's Kingdom of light breaking through the darkness that enshrouded my life and coming to faith in Jesus where He has delivered me from my addictions and continues to heal me of the many wounds of my heart that first drove me to escape life. So please join with me in praying for Wolfgang and the many others like him who are blinded not only by devil, but also by their own addictions: www.420prayer.com. 

Mobile Prayer Station: DAY 19

Wow, was it hot out, so today I camped out in the shade. I was still on the same corner, but off a little to the side under a tree. Now, a question that I've been reflecting on since DAY 1 has been: What does it mean to offer a service of prayer to the community?  I am continually revisiting this question as I stand on the street. If, my focus is truly for the people of the community, than I need to be continually positioning my heart towards them in humility. Again, I'm not out here to accomplish some sort of agenda, but solely out here to bless the people of the community with prayer: to go before our Father in Heaven on their behalf with the burdens and desires of their hearts. 

Over the years, the LORD has taken me on a journey of prayer. I can still remember the first years of my salvation and my fear (almost immobilizing at times) of praying aloud in front of people. You see, I was also deathly afraid of public speaking and praying aloud meant doing both. During this season, most of my fears centered on the style and elegance of my prayers. I was so afraid of stumbling over my words or worse yet I'd forget what exactly I was praying, lose my train of thought and then there'd be this long awkward silence. So, oftentimes I would practice what I was going to say in my head a few times before I prayed just to make sure I had it down. Sound familiar? I hope so because I'd hate think I'm no only one, but I have a feeling this is a pretty common. I was stuck projecting an image to God of how I thought I needed to be, rather than simply pursuing intimacy with God  and being real with Him. But, prayer during this season was more about me praying than about connecting with God. 


Fast forward a few years and now I'm in Seminary studying to be a pastor/missionary and I remember being even more terrified of public prayer. You see, going to a Christian university means praying before class. Usually the professor prays but there are those who will choose students to pray instead. Let me tell you, boy did I get nervous in those first few moments before class when I would see the professor surveying the students. But, this time most of my fear came from not wanting to say the "wrong" thing meaning I was afraid that my fellow students were going to critique my prayers to make sure they were theologically sound which was actually a pretty common fear among the students that I actually talked with about this. Needless to say, I've always felt so much pressure when it comes to prayer. Now here I am praying on a street corner for strangers. Who'd a guessed? Only God. 

Sure, there's a lot more to this journey of prayer that the LORD has taken me on, but at the heart of it has always been the reality that God loves talking with me (and you) and shame on those who would critique and judge our prayers because there really is no wrong way to pray. Now for those of you who would say otherwise, I encourage you to read through Psalm 88 and get back to me. You see, I believe God's heart is bigger than anything that we can throw at Him. When I look back on my prayer life, I see a journey of grace, love and transformation. Living this side of Heaven means that we will go through different seasons of faith and life, but we should never feel like we can't go to our Father in Heaven with the hurts and burdens of our hearts. No matter how angry, hurt, bitter, jealous, even volatile we may feel and be at the time, we need to trust that God is bigger and can handle it. God would much rather that we be real with Him and pursue intimacy with Him, than be shallow and superficial with Him by projecting some image to Him of how we think we should be.


The devil would also love to stop us from praying to God, even discourage us by getting us believing that there is a set way or form when it comes to prayer, which indirectly implies that there is a wrong way to pray. The devil knows that if he can drive a wedge between us and God, then he can rob us from experiencing God's love, protection, favor, blessing and provisions. So, I'll put the question out there again: Is there a wrong way to pray? I'm hoping you're catching my heart on this. God meets us right where we're at and He loves us unconditionally. Just recently, I was asked a question from a fellow believer who put her faith on hold for awhile. She asked me, "Gerry, do you think that God's mad at me for not praying and talking to Him for so long?" I told her, "No, God never holds any resentment towards us, He loves us unconditionally and is simply delighted and overjoyed every time that we choose to pray and talk with Him." God loves being in relationship with us and waits patiently for us to begin pursuing Him just as passionately as He is continually pursuing us. 


So, back to the question: What does it mean to offer a service of prayer to the community?  I believe it means praying for people's spoken and unspoken needs. I fully understand that stepping out in prayer can be scary at times and I'm not here to judge or critique their prayer requests, I'm only here to stand with them in order to ask our Father in Heaven to draw near to them (sometimes for the very first time) through prayer. Today, I was honored to be able to do that for Paloma, Jim and Kiomi. I know from personal experience that God is able and the longer I lean into Jesus for strength and security, the more confident I've become in prayer. And I pray that God would impart to every person I am privileged to pray with the grace, confidence and understanding that He has given me to them when it comes to prayer. So this is my prayer: Faither God, pour out your grace on people and empower them to draw near to you. Set them free from fear, shame and guilt and release more love, life and redemption into their lives. In Jesus Name, Amen. 

Mobile Prayer Station: DAY 18

"It's not about me." That's what I had to tell myself repeatedly today. Since DAY 1, God has taken me on a journey. This journey has not only taken me deeper into the Father's heart, but it has also take me deeper into my own heart. On this journey, I've come to greater revelation of God's heart towards His children both lost and found, but I've also gained greater insight into my own heart. Everyday I need to remind myself that I'm not out here to promote or sell anything, but only to make myself available to those in the community that desire prayer.


Each day I need to catch myself from seeking validation from the number of people I pray with each day because again, "it's not about me." But, isn't this the world that we live in, where success is measured by numbers, rather than obedience? I believe that God desires that I be on the street and my satisfaction should come solely from my obedience to Him. It's when my self-worth gets caught up in seeking validation in the number of people I pray with that I can lose my way and start being more heat than light with people where I'll tend to be overly pushy with people about praying with them. And to be honest, I'd be more of a nuisance to people than anything else.


What I feel God has been teaching me (besides humility) is that He is in control and that He will draw people to me to pray with, but my focus needs to be on the Father's heart. I shouldn't worry about whether or not I'm going to get to pray with anyone each day because God is in control and I need to trust in Him. Sure I could strive in my flesh to try and promote what I'm doing out here and get people to pray with me. But then I'd lose sight of not only the Father's heart, but also of the person's heart that I'm praying with because it starts being all about me again. When clearly the Lord's been showing me that, "it's not about me," but about His heart towards people which is far bigger than mine and I need to be caught up into His heart if I'm truly going to love people like I know He wants me to.


Every single person that comes by the Mobile Prayer Station is a gift and precious to God and though I did get to pray with a few people today (Dan, Casey & her kids and a girl and her family), wouldn't you know that God opened up a way after I repented for making it all about me. It's been freeing to let go of a little more of my validation seeking self that loves to strive in my own strength (flesh) in order to feel good about myself and just simply embracing more of the Father's love and grace for me. I don't make the way, God does. My only task is to follow Him and be obedient to what He is calling me to, leaving all the results up to God as He leads me through this life. Even if I get mocked and persecuted while on the street with the Mobile Prayer Station, I need to trust that God is still in control and that my satisfaction comes from knowing that I've been obedient to Him.